On Sports (part 1)

In case you weren't aware, I consider myself an athlete. (My sister won the prize of 'the athletic twin' while I get to be the one who could run five miles if so inspired -- this way, we both win!)

The other day, I was going for a run jog as I am in "marathon training mode". Two weeks out from the race, I wanted to make sure I'll be able to survive. (It seems highly likely at this point.) As I was running, I thought about my sports history. I thought about how wonderfully supportive my parents are; they've made it to every sporting event I can recall, including one in Canada, beyond the never-ending string of college rugby games. Thinking about the hours upon hours they endured of waiting for me to compete got me reflecting on the fact that I've never actually competed in a spectator-friendly sport. Unlike other parents, they never seemed to wise up and try to get me into soccer or basketball. Instead, I can thank my dad for suggesting a string of increasingly hard-to-enjoy-viewing sports. (I take full credit myself for selecting the third item on the list.)

I now present the sports in which I have competed by rank of projected enjoyment to parents in attendance:

A Spectator-Friendliness Guide

1. Swimming

     "Yes," you say, "swimming!" You're thinking about what a great sport swimming is. You're thinking about how it's a wonderfully dynamic full-body workout and mixes things up with four different competitive strokes. You're not thinking about spending eight hours on a Saturday (and, quite possibly, on Sunday as well) sitting in a muggy, overheated room watching other people's children go back and forth in a 25-yard pool.

     As a swim parent, you generally rely on your child for information about said child's event, heat, and lane. All children look about the same upon donning cap and goggles. You'll be able to tell boys events from girls events, but may or may not recognize that your child's best friend of seven years is winning heat four right now.

     Another thing about swimming is that everything can come down to a matter of hundredths of seconds. You wait five hours for Susie to compete in the 100 yard freestyle then spend two hours trying to cheer her up on the car ride back from New Hampshire when her time is 1 minute, 10.04 seconds and her personal best time ever is 1 minute, 10.01 seconds. It doesn't matter that she earned her best time last week. She wants to be better and she wants to be better right now.

     Swimming tops the spectator-friendliness list because it fosters patience and perseverance, encourages children to learn to entertain themselves for hours on end (during laps every day at practice), and allows viewers to see the entirety of every race and generally be sure of the outcome -- who came in first is rarely in doubt. The fact that said race takes somewhere between 27 seconds and 7 minutes of the 8+ hours you're spending on hard bleachers, fully dressed, in a glorified steam room is not enough to move swimming down from its place of pride.

2. Rugby

     Rugby, like swimming, is conducive to viewing in that spectators can see the whole field at any given time. Some parts of the field may be a bit harder to see than others -- imagine watching football from the sidelines rather than the stands -- but it's overall visible. Rugby can sometimes take place on sunny days, which is nice for fans. Rugby can sometimes take place on rainy days, which is not as nice. That said, the weather is not one of the top two factors in spectator-unfriendliness.

     Factor 1: It's often unclear what is happening in the game. This stems in part from the fact that rugby rules can be a mystery even to veteran players and said rules stipulate that play may continue for long periods of time after a rule violation before the referee calls a penalty ("playing the advantage"). It stems in part from the fact that much of rugby involves eighteen people crowded around a ball while twelve more hang back staring at them and waiting intently to get said ball. When they do finally get the ball, they will pass it among themselves for five seconds, get it far away from the large group, and get tackled. This makes the eighteen people curse the twelve for making them run so far when they're already tired. Repeat for eighty minutes. Good luck recognizing your child in the various people-piles that accumulate throughout the game.

     Factor 2: Sometimes rugby players get injured. Gymnasts rack up far more injuries and cheerleaders top the list, soccer players have their ACL tears, but ruggers get such an array of injuries that the spectating experience can be nerve-wracking for parents. Will it be a concussion, a black eye, a sprained ankle? Some days there are no injuries, others a few.
     To illustrate the above factors, let me provide a brief example: Some friends and I recently attended a rugby game in which a friend was playing. We arrived about ten minutes after the start and subsequently had no idea what the score was for the entirety of the game. We had been watching the happily injury-free game for about seventy minutes when our friend got the ball again and ran sixty yards on a breakaway. As she was touching the ball down to score, three opponents caught up to her. She was tackled into the ground, whoever tackled her lacked proper form, and she ended up with a broken jaw. We spent the next six hours with her in the emergency room. She was happy to learn, while there, that her team had won the game. None of us had known the score.
     Though my only rugby injury in four years was a sprained ankle, rugby is not the most spectator-friendly sport for parents. That said, it's still second on the list as it allows for actual spectating.

Coming in part 2: Two sports in which you may never see your athlete compete.